It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
