Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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