I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
