Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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