You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He has the fingertips of a God
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