covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This girl is more easily done than said...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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