got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
