We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
