That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
