she smelled like a LAN party
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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