Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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