I heard we made out
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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