belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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