i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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