her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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