this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
