i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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