I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
