Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
