yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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