why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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