is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
