what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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