You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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