I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Boobs are out for the taking
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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