We need to rekindle our bromance
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
