They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
