Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
