I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
