I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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