I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
