I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
