I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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