Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just cropdusted the office
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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