escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
