so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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