Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize