great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
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She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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