i permit you to call me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
