Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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