They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
