Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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