Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ketchup is God's man juice
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
