am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
