so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm way too hungover for life right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
