VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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