Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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