The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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