he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
