Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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