drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
