Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
