I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
