i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
pop tarts are not kleenex
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
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I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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