he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he thought i was a dude.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
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No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
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How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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