as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You need a sexual gate keeper
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize