On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
