420 ftw
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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