Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
