Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
