the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
