Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
