This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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