were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
