fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I could fuck to npr.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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