I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
