why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
