I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
