there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
