Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
