Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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