What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
