no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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